


Yet Another Thing

by the_last_dillards



Series: Kinktober 2020 [15]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Bad Communication, Bad Sex, Consent Issues, Dissociation, Dubious Consent, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Kinktober, M/M, Post-Episode: s03e21 The Die Is Cast
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:33:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27031231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_last_dillards/pseuds/the_last_dillards
Summary: "Elim," Julian pulled back from their kiss to breathe into his mouth. "I want you."Garak shuddered out a breath in response to the declaration. He had wanted Julian for so long, had craved his affections. And now he had it, just when he had lost the ability to want anything at all.Day 15: Consent Issues
Relationships: Julian Bashir/Elim Garak
Series: Kinktober 2020 [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1945888
Comments: 25
Kudos: 42





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> PLS READ:  
> Alright so, despite the fact that I had started writing this for kinktober, hoping to push my boundaries as a writer, this story probably won't read as sexy unless you're really into some hardcore stuff (and that's okay!). It's dubious consent between Garak and Julian where Garak is not totally honest about his wants, feelings, or needs, and lets Julian have sex with him. It's not a mutually enjoyable experience.
> 
> You may notice that there's three chapters to this. I couldn't decide how I wanted to end this and so I ended up writing two plausible endings. Chapter 2 has the happier one (hurt/some comfort) and Chapter 3 has the unhappy one, (hurt/no comfort). Feel free to choose one or read both.
> 
> Note that this story involves disassociation and descriptions of sex whilst unaroused. Please proceed with caution.

"Elim," Julian pulled back from their kiss to breathe into his mouth. "I want you."

Garak floundered.

It had only been a few days since he'd returned from his ill fated trip into the Gamma Quadrant with Tain. The time since had been spent in a strange haze, cleaning up the pieces of his shop and the pieces of his life.

Tain was gone. 

Dead. 

Tain, whom he had remained loyal to despite everything and always had been loyal to since the beginning. 

Tain, who was his only hope for returning to Cardassia. 

Tain, who was his father.

Garak's life was in shambles. Broken apart. His future, bleak and empty. 

Even Mila was beyond his reach. He had tried contacting her the day after he'd returned and received no answer or reply. He wasn't surprised. He had failed her after all. Had allowed Tain to die when it should've been him. 

There was no one left for him now except Julian. 

Garak shuddered out a breath in response to the declaration. He had wanted Julian for so long, had craved his affections. And now he had it, just when he had lost the ability to want anything at all. 

He felt numbed, strange inside.

Garak kissed him, letting his mouth open to Julian's tongue. He realized belatedly that he was terrified. Terrified of an empty, meaningless future. Terrified of losing Julian as well.

Here, the doctor had come barging into his quarters at an hour far too late for visitors, declaring his love, and now he was asking for sex. Garak couldn't possibly say no. If he said no, Julian might take that as a rejection. Might go away and find someone else to lavish these human emotions of his with.

Julian kissed back desperately. He ran a hand through Garak's hair, mussing it and tugging at the strands.

It was amazing how far they'd come. Three and a half years ago, Julian was but a toy to while away the hours with until he could earn his way home. But now his loyalty to Julian was almost that of his loyalty to Tain, to Cardassia. But only almost. Julian would never eclipse his one true love. Still, he would do nearly anything for him. Kill. Torture. Hand him the Federation on a platter to rule as he saw fit. 

And for now, apparently, it would be sex.

He had never thought it would be quite this difficult when they finally made it here. But then, true sacrifices never were easy.

He wasn't ready. Could feel a strange buzz under his skin that hadn't left since the Founders, that blunted all other sensations.

Soon, Garak found himself backed into a wall. 

Julian pulled back to nip down his neck and Garak knew he should feel something there. Feel excited, stimulated, burning with passion. But as it was, there was nothing but a dull, uncomfortable pain that lingered briefly as Julian moved on down.

He was familiar enough with the usual steps to act out of habit. To keep Julian happy by being an active participant. He ran hands down the doctor's back, letting his claws drag gently over the fabric.

Soon enough, Julian pulled away much to Garak's relief. He frantically tugged off his uniform and Garak followed his lead, pulling off his own clothes and folding them as he set them aside. 

Garak was practiced at acting confident in his own skin, and he stood tall and proud to Julian's hungry gaze roaming over his body, and Garak let himself fulfill his curiosity in turn. Humans were a very strange looking people, indeed.

Julian took him by the hand and pulled him into the bedroom. 

Garak sat on the edge of the bed, unsure of how the doctor wanted to move forward. His answer came when Julian kissed him on the mouth again and gently pushed him to lay down, sprinkling kisses down his body to reach his ajan. 

Garak was totally unaroused.

Julian didn't seem to know the difference though, unfamiliar as he was with Cardassian anatomy. He put his face there and licked at his slit. 

Garak could barely feel it. A slight strange wet sensation and nothing more. He was aware Julian was doing his best, lapping and kissing and sucking. Possibly even sliding a finger or two in at one point. He wasn't sure. He experienced very little of it.


	2. Happier Ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is Ending #1, the happier ending.

Suddenly, Julian was pulling himself up. "Are you alright?"

Garak glanced down at him, forcing himself to focus on Julian's face. "Yes, of course, my dear. Why would you ask?"

"You're very quiet."

He quirked his head. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I— Most people, at least of the species I've been with, can be a bit vocal. Um...moaning, little noises, growling, heavy breathing. That kind of thing."

That had been an oversight on Garak's part. Cardassians were prone to rumbling, hissing, and growling during the deed and such information wasn't too difficult to come by if one knew were to look. He would need to commit to the part better next time if he wanted to make this good for Julian.

"Evidently Cardassians are not most species you've been with. Such tendencies sound like a good way to get discovered in a vulnerable position."

Julian gave him an exasperated look. "Garak, please, I just want to know that everything's okay. I feel like there's something wrong here."

It was frustrating to be asked that. It simply didn't matter. Why couldn't Julian see that? Garak's wants and needs were null. He was an empty vessel, ready to fulfill whatever role Julian deemed necessary. And why bother to ask in the first place? If there was one thing Julian had proven with the wire and other incidents, it was that Garak couldn't be trusted to know what was best for himself. He couldn't be trusted with that sort of self assessment. Julian knew best.

Garak withheld a sigh of annoyance. "My dear, this is all perfectly normal for a Cardassian, I assure you."

He sat up to look Julian in the eye.

"Please, my dear. Why don't we continue? I can feel how wet I am for you right now." He took Julian's hand and pressed it to his slit. 

It was indeed wet, most likely only with saliva. Though if he were lucky, the tissues down there had responded where his brain could not and begun to arouse. And if need be, he could fake moans to make Julian happy and tamp down his embarrassment for it.

Julian pulled his hand away and Garak felt his heart drop, terrified that he was about to be abandoned. That he'd ruined this already.

The next few moments were filled with terror for as he waited for the drop to come.

Then Julian blinked up at him, a dismal frown planted firmly on his face. "I've done it again, haven't I? Gotten too excited and pushed too fast. I mean, my god, we haven’t even had a first date yet, and here I am trying to round you up into bed!"

Garak watched him, not sure what to say but that that wasn't the issue at all. He remained silent.

At the lack of answer, Julian removed himself, flopping down next to him on the bed.

"Is it alright if I still stay here and we just cuddle instead?"

Garak turned to look Julian over. His face was earnest and vulnerable, eyes reflecting the lights above.

"Of course, my dear."

Garak attempted to suppress the relief he felt in his chest as Julian shifted closer and settled in close, gentle arms wrapping around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will say part of my motivation in writing this is how often everything in (first time) sex scenes in fic is just assumed. Definitely portrayals have gotten better over the years, but there's still often a general lack of communication and presumption of everyone's roles/what they'll enjoy and they almost always magically end up getting it right. But there's a lot of potential for someone to get hurt if you go about it that way, especially after a potentially traumatic event. 
> 
> Next chapter features a version where Julian never notices and they don't end it. To him, it is that rosy first time scenario. To Garak, it is not. Feel free to continue on to it or hang up your hat here. 
> 
> Update: Want another sad fic in a similar vein to this one? Go check out [Untethered by j9ac9k](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27075286/chapters/66109171)!
> 
> Ngl kinda feel like this chapter might've been OOC but I always feel like that whenever I write anything broaching hurt/comfort or fluff, especially if it involves dialogue, so idk. Lemme me know what you thought! And if this did hurt your heart at all, I mixed up this month's schedule so tomorrow's should be much softer ;)


	3. Unhappy Ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is Ending #2, the unhappy one.

Instead, he let his mind wander, thinking about everything that still needed doing to reopen his shop.

It was then that Julian found his prUt. 

An unpleasant shock went through him at the first touch, making him jerk, and misreading his reaction, Julian drew all his focus to it.

Garak tried his best not to squirm away from it, muscles tensing to keep him in place, even as the feeling overwhelmed him, scalding and nearly painful, like a needle pressing into flesh but not quite piercing. He waited it out, wishing for the end or the wire, until Julian was satisfied that he'd been sufficiently pleasured.

Then Julian was pulling himself up, crawling up Garak’s body to kiss at his mouth with wet, slobbery lips. His penis hung down, brushing against his belly, and Garak widened his legs so that Julian could fit between them, line them up and push in.

It didn’t quite hurt. Cardassians were always somewhat slick on the inside but it felt like there wasn’t enough. Uncomfortable, dry, too tight.

Julian panted against him and thrust in quick, small movements that forced breaths out of Garak’s lungs in what might pass as gasps. 

It was odd. For the rawness he could feel, he could barely feel Julian in him moving. 

What he could feel was where the head of him poked. Perhaps it was simply at the wrong angle and was jabbing into his walls. Or perhaps the thing was too long, with too much attempting to be shoved in. But it ran against the inside of him, creating an aching pain.

Garak tried to ignore it, running soothing hands down Julian’s back and lightly scratching with his nails to help him along.

Finally, Julian buried his face in his neck, hips slowing as they came a stop. Where his lips brushed his scales, Garak had the sudden aching certainty that his jaws would close over his throat and tear it out like an animal. 

Instead Julian remained there for several seconds, panting. 

Garak was treated to the sight of him up close and at an odd angle. Eyelids closed with the whites of his eyes barely visible from where they were slit open between his lashes. The dampness of sweat on his flesh, pores glistening with it. His mind accounted for every detail in vivid and grotesque clarity without the usual blinders of passion to cover for it.

Then Julian pulled out and flopped to the side. He kissed Garak's cheek, murmuring, "That was wonderful, love," before rolling over to reach the edge of the bed, getting up and heading to the fresher. 

Garak sat up as he left, mouth dry even as he felt the wetness shifting inside of him and beginning to drip out onto the bedspread. He couldn't bring himself to care. 

Feeling numbed, he kept an ear to the fresher as he got up to replicate himself a glass of water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s your dose of pain for the day :) Nah, but feel free to tell me your thoughts! 
> 
> Tomorrow's fic should be much softer.
> 
> Update: Want another sad fic in a similar vein to this one? Go check out [Untethered by j9ac9k](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27075286/chapters/66109171)!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Yet Another Thing [PODFIC]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27454189) by [yohlenyaoilover](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yohlenyaoilover/pseuds/yohlenyaoilover)




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